there was a time I couldn’t live without cigarette. despite knowing that it is killing me each day a little more, quitting seemed just as difficult as reducing. the addiction would regulate when I am going to eat and whats first when I wake up, where I can find space to follow my addiction, needless discussions about how much I love smoking, but even more, the fear of running out of my ‘best friend’. at some point, I made a deal with the One up there. if he brings me together with this great guy I had a crush on, I would give up smoking. soon the Almighty fullfilled his job, so it was my turn.
for several months I tried my best to do my part. nothing… I felt like a loser. up to exactly 7 years ago, on world non smoking day, when I thought: how could I allow myself that something is taking control over my life? that it dictates my steps and takes over my freedom? and wasn’t it that what I love most: the liberty to do what I want?
finally, I said good bye to the constant companion. except one slip, never looked back. and the guy… soon after we bid farewell too. he said I changed now without the ciggy. indeed I did. I felt free.