If we want to be recognised for who we are, it’s inevitable to be true first – to ourselves.
years ago I found myself trapped in a house of cards… the walls were made of lies – one of them being a super achiever, without needing a break, disrespecting my femininity by ignoring periodical swings, entering relationships with unqualified men. I knew well that moving one card will make my entire construction of truth-variations collapse and I’d have no shelter anymore. and so I decided to do it, curious about the fabulous feeling it will give me afterwards. on the other side of the fence all seemed glitter and shine.
I stepped into the unknown. in the Balkans, where i come from we’d say: carrying on the tongue what I carry in my heart. At times uncomfortable, sometimes disturbing and really difficult. Occasionally I catch myself inventing another lie to myself, and quickly move back to the quest…. what am I doing? and why? is it aligned with my truth?
not speaking my truth has certainly influenced my sexuality. bonds with unhealthy men, wrong intentions and impure decisions. how should I be recognized for who I am, if I don’t honour it myself?
to walk this path I have my own 4 ½ methods to release stagnant energies, whenever I am notice them.
I like write articles, blogs or even things in my secret booklet, I know nobody will ever read. when my thoughts are written down, they seem so touchable and I am pleased to discover the flow in them. insights pouring from my heart through my arm directly into my fingers…
at times I tell myself stories with my little phone recorder. listening in what the voice tells me. does it sound real?… and again… once in the flow, I simply can’t stop and surprise myself over and over again. at times it feels like an unstoppable river flowing…
3. Yoni Egg Lapis Lazuli
for about a year I have been carrying one beautiful Lapis Lazuli with me. when not wearing it in my Yoni, it used to be close to me when meditating. I am fascinated by its power to truth.
music could replace oxygen for me. I start singing during work or when on the move. at times, when I can’t do it aloud, I chant some tones up and down or simply hum. It releases all what is stuck in the throat. the sound invites more vibration and when I focus on it, the vibration moves through my whole body.
when I take it to the next level… and there is no right or wrong, no can dance or can’t… I let my hair down and start dancing…I don’t feel the vibration, my body is the vibration. liberating the layers of lies which are holding me back, I awake to a new powerful version of mine each time.
being true to myself, doesn’t give me always friends. it’s even challenging at times. it’s frightening. but ultimately, when I dance in front of the mirror after waking up, I want to look into my eyes and see the real version of me. looking into nothing else than my Violeta-essence.
what do you practice to hear to your true voice?
image: MaryBeth Lafferty