Disconnection or Freedom?
I was tough, driven and ambitious. with head hunters over my head like vultures. my business sense was mostly spot on and success proved that I was on the right track. I am not saying that I was proud of myself back then. it was like this. I didn’t know it better. I closed down my emotional side in the effort to survive the dreamworld I had created for myself.
I couldn’t stop working at a mind-blowing pace and restore balance in my life. how could I live without an adrenaline rush and my sense of importance when looking at my overflowing calendar.
I thought I was free. but no matter how much I tried, I was a completely miserable human being. I was trapped in my job expecting every moment a knife stubbed in my back, an elbow in my jaw, bleach in my water bottle. the freedom I was dreaming of was nothing but a great hoax. I sacrificed my oestrogen in favour of testosterone. power was the synonyme for my personal freedom.
It took me some time to understand that freedom means a returning of hope, joy, love, acceptance, laughter, personal insights, deep restful sleep, a returned perspective of life, increased physical energy and vibrant health.
I learned to take my power back. my real power. to connect to my Source and learn from my lessons. to bow down, surrender and taste freedom.